The Switch 2 Blues: Why Does it Already Feel so Old Hat, so Bland, so Oddly Secondhand?

Nintendo’s Switch 2 is a conundrum. Hailed for its hardware upgrades but criticized for its perceived lack of that “Nintendo innovation” so commonly associated with each of its generational revamps, the Switch 2 is both undeniably powerful but quite reliably boring.

But the controversy doesn’t end with the hardware. From a questionable launch lineup of games to Nintendo’s age-old tyrannical attack on consumer rights, the system is a symbol of contradiction reflecting Nintendo’s own shifting, and shifty, philosophies. Once a company that prized experimentation, devising new franchises, and creating new quirky devices…the Big N has become rather staid as of late, focusing on the business side of the equation versus striving to ignite the next popular trend or paradigm. In short, the company has lost its will to be unique or take chances.

Why? The reasons are legion. But at the heart of Nintendo’s flip from creative dynamo to corporate overlord probably stems from the loss of the late, great Satoru Iwata—the man who, more than even Miyamoto, was the true soul of Nintendo. But his passing combined with the failure of the Wii U—which, incidentally, was more a case of bad marketing than any true flaw with the system itself—sent Nintendo’s remaining ruling body scrambling for a change in its approach. For better or worse, the Switch became Nintendo’s Hail Mary pass that somehow prevailed despite being rushed to market and boasting its own deficiencies. People loved the hybrid system. Bought it in droves. But, by doing so, they taught Nintendo the wrong lesson:

Lose the quirk and stick with what works.

Indeed, no more fun and funny features like the Check Mii Out channel or Miiverse. No more droves of Miis rushing to greet the player at the boot up menu screen. No more catchy music while perusing the eShop or other channels. The Switch, despite its clever dual orientation (albeit copied from Sony’s ill-fated PSP Go), actually lacked much of the character and personality that made its predecessors so personable, so endearing.

Which is why the Switch 2, despite its successful launch, feels so utterly underwhelming. It’s just another Switch—another upgrade, another iteration, like trading one’s old iPhone in for a “better” one. Despite sporting boosted performance and some improved features, it remains stained by the original’s old 2017 identity…the same tired, now watered-down flavor. For a $450-500 device, it “tastes” awfully the same.

What’s in Nintendo’s future? Will it continue squeezing out profits at the expense of hardware innovation and consumer freedom? It’s doubtful that Iwata would be impressed with the Switch 2, Nintendo’s draconian “Game Key” cards, and the scandalous EULAs that now “allow” the company to brick systems at will.

But it’s not Iwata’s memory that will steer Nintendo back from the brink of infamy. It’s the consumer. The fan. The adherent…who buys Nintendo products without reflection or remorse. Until they stop buying, Nintendo will keep taking advantage of both the player and the market with sickening impunity.

The question, however, is whether the Nintendo fanboys or the average normie can resist the allure of the Big N’s key properties. People are complaining now, but games like DK Bananza show that it doesn’t take much to placate all those complaints. One quality title is all the fans need to forgive and forget, to unload their wallets all over again, buying Nintendo's product in sycophantic droves. They can’t help themselves. Nintendo, despite fixing nothing, is ever their hero. Their religion. Their temple and god.

Which begs an ironic question or two: What will the next Nintendo system be called? What will it look like?

Well, I'll tell you. It'll be called the Switch 3 and will look awfully similar to the two that came before. - D

Here's a fun test! Which of these Switches is the original...and which is the sequel, the "mindblowing" Switch 2? Took a second, didn't it? (I did cheat a little, making both systems the exact same size.)

Nintendo's consoles have always see drastic changes and innovations from one generation to the next. Except this time, of course. The Switch 2 is indeed the "Switch Pro" predicted so many years ago.

The Wii and Wii U were rife with weird and interesting features, including the Everybody Votes Channel, Check Mii Out Channel, and Miiverse. The Switch and its offspring offer nothing even remotely similar...

Many saw Satoru Iwata as the true soul of Nintendo. While Miyamoto has been reduced to a corporate yes-man more concerned with his own legacy, Iwata was willing to sacrifice his reputation for the sake of taking chances--for adding a creative agency and quirky energy to the company as a whole. He is greatly missed.

Thanks to YouTube's Matt from GamerCast, gumgum 99, and GameXplain for the video (and snatched pics).