UFO 50 - Every Game Played and Graded

Magic Garden – Most know the game “Snake” from the old Nokia phone preloaded freebie. But Snake’s origin goes back much farther, from 1982’s Nibbler to 1991’s obscure Snakes Alive on Apple’s old line of Macintosh computers. More modern takes include Pix the Cat, an excellent game that, although about a cat and its herd of birds, still follows that snakey premise of avoiding one’s own tail…or, in this case, trail. Magic Garden takes a similar cue, trading the snake for a girl and her troop of trailing slimes that must be collected, then laid, on specific tiles as the opportunity provides. It’s fun, clever, and colorful…and might just be among the best Snake-esque games ever devised. It’s also the rare arcade experience to penetrate UFO 50’s not always inclusive range of genre representation.

UFO 50 is a 50-course serving of an imaginary past, a series of false memories mixed with some modern-day pretensions. It’s a history of mysteries, essentially, a nebulous collage of games representing an 8-bit age that never really existed…at least, never exactly like this. UFO 50 isn’t so much a reflection of the 8-bit era as it is a revision; more than capturing the 8-bit 1980s in all its uneven, ungainly glory, it chooses to recreate the decade instead. Simpler games of the Pac-Man or Donkey Kong variety are deemphasized while other titles meddle with the dates, projecting a more contemporary vibe despite their antiquated aesthetics.

Indeed, a true historian of ‘80s gaming might see UFO 50 as more subversion than tribute, as being less a revealing mirror and more a distorting blur. Some of its games, like the strategy-infused Avianos or the adventure-esque Golfaria, would have been considered groundbreaking—too groundbreaking—for the era, while other games, such as the time-waster Waldorf's Journey, fits more neatly within the Macromedia Flash gaming craze of the early 2000s. In short, UFO 50 is not so much a snapshot of 1980s gaming, but more a defense of the 8-bit philosophy itself. It asks, it boasts, it hopes: What if the 8-bit style had remained gaming’s preeminent and definitive form of expression?

But more than being a schism of anachronisms, UFO 50 is a paradox of parts…of games benefiting from modern insight and design while still failing to surpass the true classics of the past. Its games might resemble the hypothetical NES or Commodore 64 title, but upon play, the flavor and texture are different…like pre-boxed donuts versus those bought right from the baker. The same recipe was followed, the same ingredients still there, but there’s less artistry behind the pastry, less freshness in the cream. It’s the difference, in a sense, between a cook and a gourmet chef.

More truthfully, UFO 50’s library is what developer Mossmouth wishes the ‘80s 8-bit scene had been. Less shooters, arcade-styled games, and straightforward platformers, more quests and puzzles, more strategy and exploration. And more women, apparently…the games on hand feature far more “strong” female leads than the actual reality. In the ‘80s, boys were the foremost demographic, so naturally, games often featured men in the headlining roles. And for macho games like Contra, this especially made sense—more than a girl, storming an alien infested jungle required the granite-jawed brawn of a man. It just fit the motif. But UFO 50 doesn’t agree, often squeezing women into even the most masculine and unlikely of roles.

Historical inaccuracies aside, however, this is still a monumental tableau of titles—to the point where many could have been released individually. Companies like Blaze Entertainment should license UFO 50’s games for its Evercade line of consoles, perhaps releasing cartridges of about fifteen games apiece. If not quite masterpieces, these titles are still worthy of being preserved, still deserving of their own console to call home.

And to further the point, below is the first half—the first twenty-five tries—of UFO 50’s entire canon. Mini-reviews, or rather, mini-impressions intended to give each title more upfront respectability while also documenting, for posterity, their given merit and quality. What awaits is not an exhaustive evaluation—no game was tested to its absolute fullest—but if nothing else, those considering their own trip aboard UFO 50’s retro-fitted ship will have themselves here a helpful companion.

UFO 50 is, well, an iffy fifty of would-be classics. Like the libraries of real life, however, not every game is a guaranteed great. Hence, this companion guide: a quick list to assist the average passerby in distinguishing between the drek and the gem.

UFO 50's Fists of Hell (top) replaces River City Ransom's (second) bullies and thugs with zombies and freaks. It's not a bad idea, but it lacks the polish to truly trump the original classic.

The game selection is eclectic, as seen with these strategy titles, Avianos and Devilition, top and middle respectively. On the other hand, certain genres--like the single-screen platformer and early arcade-style game (as seen here with Donkey Kong on the bottom)--receive only a cursory representation.

UFO 50: Games 1-25

Barbuta - Slow and stodgy seems to be the primary theme of this painfully sluggish dungeon crawler. Players helm a squat knight armed with only a sword and seven measly lives. And death does come easily, with a single brush from bat wing to jumping mushroom sending the puny hero to his almost inevitable death. In short, the game takes patience and plenty of practice to master, plus a good memory in navigating a dungeon filled repeatedly with traps and (literal) dead ends. In 1983, this might have been considered "good," but most modern players, fair or not, will see this as a mediocre Metroidvania at best.

Ninpek – An auto-scrolling platformer featuring a hop-happy ninja beset by a land of Yokai, Tsukumogami, and…bipedal pigs. It’s actually pretty fun, resembling Capcom’s SonSon and SNK’s Psycho Soldier in terms of gameplay; it’s also much shorter than its apparent inspirations, having to rely on a “second quest” of sorts to feel more like a complete game. In this sense, Ninpek barely overcomes the trappings of “minigame,” offering just enough length and variety to justify its inclusion within the greater fifty. But, for while it lasts, players are in for some harried, double-jumping fun as they fling shurikens and weave their ninja through the ever-approaching and encroaching valley of dangers. Just beware, platforms will continue to “slide” underneath the little ninja as the screen scrolls to the left. It’s a counterintuitive quirk that players will have to quickly learn lest they prefer death.

Bug Hunter - An interesting turn-based affair that sees a hired "Bug Hunter" attempting to clear a mining quarry from a host of hostile alien bugs. It's a tricky affair that sees players having to carefully choose between attack and movement options while navigating an increasingly insect-infested grid. Take too long and the bugs overrun, forcing a head-hanging retry. The game will likely prove too esoteric (and difficult) for some, but overall, it's a well-conceived, commendable experience.

Blue Title - Worthy

Yellow Title - Worth Exploring

Red Title - Unworthy

Orange Title - Worth Ignoring

Grading Key:

Paint Chase – The "maze game" was a popular genre in the early '80s; arcades and home consoles alike were desperate for a hit mimicking the already iconic Pac-Man. Paint Chase is UFO 50's main attempt in channeling that maze-craze mentality, channeling not only Pac-Man, but both Rally X and Crush Roller/Make Trax. The premise, as expected, is as simple as painting a picture blue--players must wind their little race car around a variety of mazes, turning the causeways a certain color while enemy vehicles scuttle around trying to reverse the work. If a prescribed threshold isn't reached before the time limit expires, a life is lost and a redo enforced. It's mildly fun, but lacks the personality that made the best maze games, from Mr. Do! to Ms. Pac-Man, so infectiously fun, with gameplay and a limited presentation that doesn't benefit from the repetition.

Mortol – "Mortol" is, perhaps, a spin on the word "mortal," as the game's theme, if anything, is self-sacrifice. Die to survive, as some might decide. Indeed, to progress through Mortol's long and difficult side-scrolling stages, players will have to strategically sacrifice men for progression's sake. A boulder is blocking the way forward? Blow up a guy so the next one can advance further. Bed of spikes obstructing the path? Smash them by turning a man into stone, converting his now lifeless form into a literal stepping stone for others to use. It's essentially Lemmings, but with the player taking full control of each little denizen, one at a time. And while it lacks its source inspiration's charm, for those who have the will and patience, this is a commendable take on what was once a popular genre.

Velgress – Anyone who's played Downwell (whose creator also contributed to this collection) will see Velgress as its inverted sister. While the former saw a little man falling and blasting in a fit to survive, this version sees its female hero blasting upward as a spiked grinder follows below. Go too slow, in other words, and the battle maiden is seriously dead. This is one of those games that could have been 100% more fun if the difficulty had been softened...drastically softened. But, as is, this is a brutal journey to heaven, a Sisyphean slog of death and repetition. Players only get one life, the game already begins unapologetically tough, and one mistake means a return to the very beginning. Even by arcade standards, Velgress would have been considered too taxing, lacking the usual "breaking-in" stage to at least introduce players to its intricacies and nuances. Needs a serious rebalancing.

Planet Zoldath – UFO 50 has a surprisingly limited supply of overhead, Zelda-esque adventures. Planet Zoldath is the seeming attempt to fill this void, offering a quirky quest in which a space traveler must wander a strange planet, fighting aliens and collecting resources. It plays okay...with a few of the items (like the boomerang) feeling much akin to their Zelda inspirations. But the overworld is both boring and unforgiving, with items just lying around in weird, inexplicable locations, and enemies more bothersome than fun to fight. Death brings a complete reset, making the game feel more like a rogue-like than anything Nintendo would dare produce. Those who persevere may find something redeeming, but everyone else should probably steer clear.

Attactics – Yet another strategy game, but one owing to a more arcadey sensibility. In realtime, players must shift their troops up and down on their half of the playfield to best counter the enemy barbarians approaching from the right. The goal, in short, is to breach the invading team's base before it can do the same. A player may, for instance, align an archer with a distant sword fighter, which is likely smarter than having the two fight face-to-face (in which sword beats arrow every time). In many ways, the game feels like a simplified tower defense title without the variety; the game mostly plays itself, leaving players with little to do beyond sliding soldiers like action figures across a plastic set. Okay, but forgettable.

Devilition – A puzzler about detonation and chain reaction; players must place explosive monsters around a grid in the hopes of destroying all the loitering demons in the process. Like many of UFO 50's games, the proceedings here are strange and initially esoteric. But after a few tries, players can have a satisfying time placing creatures to induce the perfect swath of destruction. The title's main shortcoming comes in the monsters' respective explosive reach; once a creature is laid, players are curiously unable to go back and review its detonation range, leading to mistakes that could (should) have been avoided. But for those with good memories or graph paper on hand, Devilition is a devious brain teaser.

Games 11-25 Coming Soon!