UFO 50 - Every Game Played and Graded, Part 2

UFO 50 is an interactive homage to the 8-bit ‘80s, a celebration of the “pixelized” style and a certain “try and die” philosophy of design. What it’s not, however, is a direct tribute to the Nintendo Entertainment System, that 8-bit machine of Mario and Mega Man and Castlevania fame. As seen in UFO 50’s boot up sequence, the games don’t represent any specific console, don’t favor the style of any hardware or brand. Indeed, the games as shown aren’t even cartridges, but diskettes…suggesting a bias towards the Commodore 64-side of the divide.

What was developer Mossmouth’s true intention? The best clue comes from UFO 50’s boot up which, through a montage of badly dithered photographs, reveals the team’s startling discovery—the mysterious LX, an awkward console/PC amalgam lost to the drafts of time. This strange cobbling of monitor, disk drive, and gamepad seem more akin to prototype than final product, more junkyard art than serious game machine. But in this version of history, the device was the home to a decade’s trove of games. Fifty of them, in fact, crafted and collected by UFO Soft, their mysterious developer. Recently “rediscovered” by Mossmouth, they’ve now been restored to the world.

It’s all a pretense, of course, a clever meta-narrative designed to frame an otherwise discordant collection, but it’s also a fabrication meant to conceal an even deeper tale reminiscent of the greatest urban myths. For those who dig beyond, or in-between, the fifty diskettes, a steep tale of trails exists—a rabbit hole far transcending UFO Soft, the LX, and its 50 forgotten games. Anyone willing to open that metaphorical box, to unpeel that figurative seal…will unearth an especially cryptic and creepy 51st game. The “preservationists” at Mossmouth did more than uncover a lost history, they unearthed a mystery. An uncanny, almost liminal 51st dramedy of tragic pretension.

Which might explain why, from a more grounded perspective, many of UFO 50’s games are unnervingly imperfect. Are the shortcomings the fault of Mossmouth, the games’ real-world creators, or does the blame fall on UFO Soft, that what-if developer that never existed but maybe, in a sense, sort of did? Mossmouth’s true brilliance lies not within its quality or quantity of games, but with the quantum paradox that protects them so well.

Indeed, if any of the games are bad, blame UFO Soft. If the games don’t seem to properly match any specific time period or console, blame the LX platform and its indeterminate existence. And if the games are too difficult, don’t offer enough lives or continues or ways to save?

Well, Mossmouth gets the blame for that; clearly, removing continues and forcing redos was a contrivance to hide the obvious. For a collection offering fifty reportedly “full-length, complete” games, some of those shorter, flimsier titles had to be stretched...and if not by actually making them longer, then by making them arbitrarily harder.--D

The Nintendo Entertainment System (below)

Commodore 64 (above)

The (fabled?) LX Console/PC Hybrid

For those who pay attention to UFO 50's opening sequence, a great discovery is revealed: an ancient trove of hardware buried in a forgotten storage shed.

Games like Party House (above) and Combat Ants (below) don't have any direct equivalents on the NES, dispelling the assumption that UFO 50 is a direct tribute to Nintendo's famous system.

UFO 50's meta-narrative is its own twisty journey, revealing more than anyone was ever ready or willing to know. For those who dare, YouTuber FuryForged delves into the lore, the clues, the backroom mystery.

Blue Title - Worthy

Yellow Title - Worth Exploring

Red Title - Unworthy

Orange Title - Worth Ignoring

Grading Key:

UFO 50's Final 25 Games Played and Graded (26-50)

Remember, these "reviews" are considerable but not comprehensive. Think of them more as impressions than de facto declarations of their quality. The games are so varied, so strange...even the better titles might prove unappealing to those of certain tastes and persuasions.

Vainger – UFO 50 has plenty of Metroidvania-style titles, but Vainger perhaps comes closest to the “Metroid” look and feel as commonly expected. Players command a cyborg who must shoot its way through a cryptic facility, collecting weapons and other tech to surpass obstacles otherwise impassable. More than just exploring, Vainger adds the gimmick of gravity reversal, allowing its protagonist to walk across ceiling and floor alike with a double-tap of the jump button. It’s fun…sort of…but feels overused to the point of annoyance. Worse, insta-death spikes line the shafts and corridors, making the back-and-forth navigation more of a hassle than what is found in the best examples of the genre. Vainger is still a good addition to the UFO 50 lineup, but for gravity-defying hijinks, WarpTank is the collection's better pick.

Hot Foot - Following the style of "sports" and "fighting" already laid by Bushido Ball, this more contemporary take on dodgeball and its ilk pits teams of two flinging bean bags across a gymnasium floor. It's pretty simple, with characters beaning each other for points and glory. Like Bushido, special moves and powered-up throws can be enforced, and projectiles can be ricocheted for trickier hits and fancier scores. Overall, the game is okay, but feels like a "quickie" to reach that fifty, a game that smacks of filler, a mere derivative of better games within and without UFO 50's greater package.

Rail Heist – As a side-scrolling, real-time stealth game with some turn-based proceedings, Rail Heist wins points for just being different--it's a truly inspired mix of mechanics placed within a clever, Old West setting. Its one limitation, however, is scope; every level is another train to infiltrate, leading to a sense of blandness and repetition that diminishes the game's overall impression. With more development time put into expanding its scenarios and obstacles, Rail Heist could easily be a faux-retro classic. But, as is, the game feels like the first act of a grander, unfinished experiment.

Divers - A strange RPG that clearly recycles the Sub-nautical Porgy engine, this game sends a trio of lizard people--divers--into the murky depths of an oceanic labyrinth. Movement is slow, visibility is limited, and contact with the always-lurking enemies reduces the game into a mundane, turn-based "let's trade hits until one dies" sort of affair. Early on, even the simplest foes are dangerous, which means players will have to exercise some heavy grinding and ponderous caution. Whether Divers is "good" really depends on one's tolerance for its brand of plodding, cryptic adventuring. Likely, most will just scratch their heads before returning to Porgy or any number of UFO 50's many Metroidvania-esque quests.

Rock On! Island – Yet another strategy game…but this time, it’s of the tower-defense mold, resembling everything from Fieldrunners to PixelJunk Monsters but with a prehistoric theme. As the inexplicable cavegirl Zola (apparently, the women wear the pelts in this society), players must “spend” meat to raise defenders against a constant onslaught of reptilian and saber-toothed invaders. These critters barrel out from one side of the map and begin wending their way towards the opposite end; should too many reach the cave-clan's entrance, it’s game over and yet another retry. And an emphasis on that retry—the game gets tricky, fast, with little room for error in both the placement of troops and whom to upgrade for the higher, trickier waves. Overall, it’s more a game of trial-an-error that true brain bender, and with no rewind feature or checkpoints within matches, it’s patience—more than smarts—that will see players through to the end. Fun but unremarkable.

Pingolf - Mobile gamers are probably aware of the Super Stickman Golf series, a surrealistic version of the sport in which a nondescript golfer must navigate a series of absurdist courses filled with obstacles and travails completely removed from reality and, certainly, a staid game of golf. In short, it was fun…and Pingolf essentially copies the concept with a futurist twist. Robots, not humans, are now the pro-golfers, and the courses—more than a gauntlet of pits, valleys, and water hazards—can be better likened to the innards of a pinball table. Bumpers, plungers, bouncers, and backgrounds are all depicted in that classic dithered 'n garish Commodore 64 aesthetic. The physics are satisfying and the presentation is excellent…but, as with a lot of games in this collection, the difficulty spikes fast with a steep learning curve. Compared to the (seemingly) aimless Golfaria, however, this is the golf game to play.

More to come!